Tuesday, 20 March 2018

My dear Kumar

Today, the 20th March he would have turned 62. But he didn't wait. Why he had to hurry, I don't know, but hurry he did. Just a phone call during a power cut time made him fall down near the stairs, followed by a quick succession of events that culminated in his unexpected demise. Leaving his  loving wife and innocent, if grown up children shocked beyond belief. 

For me it is loss of my dear brother, whom I have known for the past 62 years. With whom I grew up, went to school, watched movies. With whom I have had fights for reasons that look silly and make me laugh at myself now. Like who has the right to first read the new weekly magazine bought at home. Like whose turn it was to help mother in running small errands. With whom I have gone to relative's places to spend school vacations and continue the fights there. That was when we were in primary school days.

Then the fights gave way to better understanding and turned into beautiful friendship when we became teenagers. It was from him that I learnt some joys considered  exclusive to male domain in those days. Like learning to play chess, trying to follow cricket commentaries in the radio in those non_tv days, watching one or two english movies etc. Sharing our common interest in Numbers and trying to solve logical puzzles. Sharing our love for old tamil movie songs and arguing about our difference of taste in that. Arguing whether MGR or Sivaji was great and never coming to an agreement  as the former was his favourite and the latter mine. The list of such sweet memories is long.

Later when we started  our career lives and eventually got married we got busy with our new families, building up its finances and bringing up kids. In those days with no network or even phones, regular contacts shrunk to postal letters only, for which we were left with little time after attending to career and family demands. So the communications were less in those  days. 

But again after some time, we had phones and then came social networks like fb and whatsapp. So we could pick up the threads where we had left them and continue our chatting in these media. Yes, arguments had given way to chats due to our age and maturity. For weeks, sometimes even months, we would not have talked except through the social media, but still once either of us ring up, we could continue where we had  left. That was the bond.

But that came to a shocking halt when I last rang up his number, only to be informed by his wife that he was admitted to a hospital for a surgery following his fall. And he never recovered.I could visit him in the days he was in the hospital, but the end was sudden and shocking. I could visit him in the days he was in the hospital, but the end was sudden and shocking. I know his wife and children would suffer more. In addition to the loss of their beloved father/husband they sure have to face immediate tasks and financial drawbacks. 

But that doesn't lessen my grief. I feel as if I have lost a part of me, though I keep reminding me that I have to get over that feeling and carry forward only sweet memories. Though I find it very difficult, I am trying. Yesterday I visited our ancestral village, Pathamadai that has a place in his name. Today on his birthday friends are remembering him. He was more familiar and at ease with his friends than with relatives circle. Some time back  took pains to organise a reunion of school batch mates and college batch mates separately for which all the friends are very happy even now. They shall remember him always. Happy birthday Kumar.


  1. That is very poignant recollection Vijalakshmi. Loss of a sinking can be very disquieting. That you have lots fond recollections is the mitigator. R. Sridharan. 1969 batch.

  2. Extremely sorry to learn about his demise. He was my FB friend, though I didn't know him.